unpredictable tuesday

just suddenly he's not in the mood to talk to me.
just suddenly he's so cold to me.
did something happened to him? or with them? that he treats me so differently right now.
paranoid? i dont know.
well, i cant do anything about it. i can't demand. i can't argue with him.
all i can do is just keep still and continue life.
that's reality.
this is my reality.
this is my sad reality.

"Sabi-sabi ng mga kaibigan ko
H'wag mong pilitin ang hindi para sa 'yo
Ngunit bakit hindi kita makalimutan
Sa 'yo ba'y okey lang?"

"Sana'y 'di ka mainis at
Pasensya na kung ako ay makulit
Pero kung gusto mo
Ako na lang ang lalayo
Kung okey lang sa 'yo"

just when i thought everything's gonna be ok with us, he suddenly acts differently.
how can i stop assuming that he also cares for me?
how can i stop assuming that he feels something for me?
how can i stop loving him?
how can i get tired of this feeling?
i wanna know how...
coz i've been stucked up here for a very long time already..
how can i free myself?

or will i just continue dreaming that in time... he'll learn to love me. to choose me. to accept me.. to fight for me..
will that time come in my lifetime?
sometimes i feel that my being too patient leads me to nothing. and i feel that now...
i feel terrible..
im terrible..

been always blogging about him..
maybe you pity me so much for i keep on telling stories about him.
maybe you keep on laughing because you've never met someone as stupid as me.
im sorry. this is me.

if only you will understand every bit of what i feel...