tripper

you are such a tripper.. stop it! damn.. why am i so gullible? argh!

"Quit playing games with my heart" (by Backstreet boys)
pwde ba? este with my load? wala na akong pambayad sa line ko eh..

guys

someone gave me a bracelet.. i'm quite hesitant when i accepted it.. but i don't want to make him feel bad so there.. it's with me already :D i must say... that's so damn sweet. it made me smile. and i sooooo love it! hihihihi :D but i can't ignore the fact that i'm still not so into him. i got bored before with him. so now, i feel there is less spark already. i want to give him a chance but i need first to make him my "crush" again because right now, i don't like him that much anymore. i guess i need to give him another shot.... i liked him before.. so there's no point of not liking him again. i guess... am i bad?

another someone sent me a text message.. and it goes like this..
"Seeing you again makes me realize that being ones beb is very hard. its very ironic that you're the only girl im afraid of in terms of being with.. coz im afraid that i might see your tears fall down thru your sparkling eyes (yun bola.. gumaganon pa cya.. ) and i cant afford of having such thing. somebody told me ur the baby of the barkada. well, i treat you as my own beb.. anyhow, my feelings from you since college didnt change.. as you can see, im still here even from other sequences that happened.. i wish you could be my "beb"..."

-- that made me smile also.. kinilig ako.. but these are just words right? i wanna believe it but part of me says "text lang nman yan".. anyhow, thanks for the kind and nice words. i like it. but i keep asking myself.. why are they so afraid to give a shot with me? why are they so afraid to make me cry? that's part of life already.. everybody cries. everybody gets hurt. that's human nature.

for someone whom i will love, i'm sooo ready to get hurt because of you. i want my tears fall down from my eyes because of you. i want my heart to ache because of you. i wanna be bad because of you. because those will show how much i'll be sooo in love with you. those will be the reasons why my heart beats for you. those will be the reasons that i can say i'm still human.. i'm ready but where are you? are you the one who is already in front of me? and i'm just being blocked by people who doesn't really take me seriously but i'm allowing them to because i'm having the fun? i admit.. i love the fun of meeting and interacting and getting to know a lot of guys. i must say.. that helps in boosting of long lost self esteem. i don't know but i'm enjoying myself. i'm having fun. i'm quite happy. but sometimes.. i get confused... i just love boys. or i guess i love the attention (hope some will understand why i love this). or maybe both? is that bad? malandi ba? i don't want to be malandi... i just want to be happy. even for just a while..

comment lang: i don't want people calling me "beb" anymore.. i'm getting confused already. two guys are calling me that. nothing's wrong with it since that is my nick since childhood. but when these guys are calling me that... it seems all wrong! hope you get what i mean...

something old and new

is he back again? i dunno... not sure yet.. but i just hope he's not making a fool out of me.. not this time.. not again.