taking off my mask

I'm having a hard time wearing my mask. I can't pretend anymore. Coz I think I'm gonna burst already.
How can I pretend to smile and laugh, when all I wanted to do is to cry.
How can I pretend to happily mingle with other people, when all I wanted is to be alone.
How can I pretend to be busy, when I can't think of anything to do but to think of you.
How can I avoid you, when you alone make my day.
How can I pretend not to think of anything, when you unconsciously occupy my mind.
How can I pretend not to feel anything, when my heart still beats for you.
How can I pretend not to be hurt, when my heart is slowing breaking into pieces.
How can I pretend not to miss you, when every day that passes by I pray that I will be able to see you AGAIN.
How can I pretend not to love you, when I'm so deeply inlove with you.
How can I pretend to be happy, when as if all problems come together to take me down.
How can I pretend to be strong, when I have no reasons to be strong.
Now tell me, how can I pretend when all my actions are pure lies?

How can I fix the problems at home? Is there still a fix for that?
How can I fix my heart? Will there be someone who will help me fix it?
How can I fix myself? Im so full of problems right now.
Dont know where to start.
Just want to escape from reality.
Just want to fly away from here.
I need You right now.
I need Your guidance.
Please help me.