12 days..

12 days.. its been 12 days since i last saw you. seems like you dont like to see me anymore. no move or initiative from you to see me. am i losing you? are you still with me? coz ur not paying attention anymore. i guess i really am losing you.. im already expecting this to happen. but im not expecting this to happen now.. i guess time flies really fast. im getting tired already. i dont know. im not sure. i really dont know. all i know right now is im not happy. im pretending to be happy and ok. last weekend is the loneliest weekend. i feel so alone. well im really alone at home and that makes me feel really really sad. cant help it but i cried. i didnt noticed but tears just fell. i realized im really alone. and no one is there for me. no one will be there for you.

sa nalaman ko at sa pinapakita mo saken ngayon, ramdam ko na mahal na mahal mo talaga siya and maybe that is a sign na i should stop this na. i feel you're hurting. kahit gustuhin kong matuwa sa nangyari, hindi ko magawa kasi nakikita kong hindi ka ok. hindi ka masaya. kung ganyan ka rin lang, mas gugustuhin ko lang maging ok na kayo para sumaya ka na uli at bumalik ka na sa dati. napatunayan ko, she really is making you happy and complete. alam ko parang plastic tong sasabihin ko pero promise kung saan ka magiging masaya, magiging masaya na din ako. kahit magiging masaya ka sa piling ng iba. wala na akong laban. hindi ko na rin maimagine na magiging tayo pa. hindi na talaga. malayong malayo na sa realidad na mangyare yun.

sana paggising ko nakalimutan ko ng nangyari lahat ng ito. nakalimutan ko ng nangyari ULI ito. kasi nasasaktan na talaga ako ngayon. ayoko na pakita sa mga kaibigan ko na sobrang nasasaktan at nalulungkot na ko sa mga nangyayari kasi alam kong sawa na sila na ganitong nangyayari sa buhay ko.

i want to forget you but part of me still wants to stay. im so confused. i dont know what to do. oh well, i ALWAYS dont know what to do with my life..

i really love you so much.. ill always be your friend. and you will always be someone to me.